Trust

Something that is SO very difficult to earn……….and yet SO very easily destroyed.

This past week has been awful. My Mom ended up in the hospital.  And someone in my family that should know better than to go up against me has completely lost her ever loving mind.

And then one on my nephews friends did something really shitty to my brother; who is going to pay big time for this kids assholeness.

I am really starting to hate people…..

 

 

dogsitting

I  like dogs, I truly do. But I had forgotten why I no longer watch other people pets, especially if I need to stay at their house to do it.

I am SO entrenched in MY own habits  that it is rather distressing to be away from them………maybe I need to step away fro myself more often. I think I need to shake up my own routines a little.

Life should not be lived in a box!!

Inconsiderate

Neighbors are the worst. Loud “music” all day. Several BIG dogs that bark and fight with each other off and on. Children that leave a mess on the sidewalk and stairs. Blocking both with their scooters and bicycles.

Apartment living sucks…………

Living

in an apartment complex just sucks so bad……….kids running around screaming and crying at all hours. Riding their bikes and scooters and skateboards in the parking lot between the cars. The people that live above us sound like a fucking herd of elephants………all afternoon, every afternoon…….

Why do people have to be SO inconsiderate and rude?

The last two weeks

have been very difficult. Dropped my phone on Sunday and shattered the LCD, so that’s off getting repaired.

But the most distressing thing has been my young friend. She had some truly horrible “things” happen to her and she is struggling mightily to accept, process and heal from this.

I spend hours with her talking and listening and offering hope and kindness. But she is so devastated that she again tried to take her own life. (She almost succeeded this time) She is still in the hospital.  Her father and her boyfriend, who are her staunch supporters have been with her the entire time. And I offer any and all comfort and support that I can from over 1000 miles away.

I wish I had the ability to take on her pain, so maybe she could have a day free from it. She is such a lovely beautiful young woman with so much potential for a good and fulfilling life. And it breaks my heart every day that she has this horrible vile ugly weight crushing down on her……..

Much Love sweetie……

Routers…..

Specifically my Belkin router…piece of crap.  Ran all updates on Windows and the router wanted a firmware update. OK. Did this and the router no longer works….WTF??? Are you kidding me? I do not need this….

So after several hours of trying to reset, reboot and repair……..I ended up buying a new router. Gawd, I hate technology sometimes.

Much Love….

I   have begun ending IM conversations between myself and a young friend with these words. Hopefully as a way to reminder her that there IS love in the world and that SHE IS WORTHY of love! Also I do this in the hopes that it will remind ME that there is love in this world: for me. That I am worthy of it: accepting it and most importantly GIVING it.

So yes, Leann. Much Love to you!